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World of the Morags.This journal is made entirely of shaving foam. |
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| About this Journal (of doom) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Links of Doom Less than Jake Caitlin's ***g. Tom's ***g. Steph's ***g. So-Lou's ***g JAmes' ***g Phil's ***g Matilda's ***g Gaijin Smash |
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| Jan. 27th, 2009 @ 10:25 pm Normally I don't play by the reposting rules. | |||
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| I'll make an exception for this one. The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations: - I make no guarantees that you will like what I make! - What I create will be just for you. - It'll be done this year. (might be a little while) - You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure! - I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to repost. We can all make stuff! |
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| Jul. 14th, 2008 @ 10:49 am Please allow me to be boring for a moment. | |||
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| I'm really confused about what guitar I want, so I'm hoping that maybe if I write a whole bunch of stuff, it'll become clear. These are all Epiphones, for anyone playing along at home. I guess I should put this under a cut. ( Read more... ) |
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| Apr. 30th, 2008 @ 11:11 am It's like a rant, only smaller. | |||
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| How do people do this for 80 years? I spend so much time analysing all my actions and everyone else's actions that I end each day totally exhausted, even though I've done almost no physical activity at all. Constant incorrect analysation leads me to a constant state of not really being happy, which adds to the exhaustion. I'm sick of putting on a smile and talking about random crap to push people away from the fact that I'm not really a happy person. I bought a Mr Happy hoody the other day. Then I saw a Mr Asshole shirt. I really should get that and wear them together. Because that's essentially exactly what I am. An angry bastard wrapped in a layer of smiles. And I'm sick of being told "Well just get over it and be happy again". Well.... go fuck yourself, that's the worst piece of advice I've heard since... the last time somebody gave me advice. |
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| Mar. 24th, 2008 @ 01:56 pm So I finally remembered my password. | |||
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| Wow, that display picture is old. Anyway I had a whole bunch of stuff to say, but as usual, someone has done it better than I could have. ( Read more... ) |
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| Sep. 23rd, 2007 @ 10:24 am Teeeeeeeeth | |||
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| Another bunch of photos from a thing! ( Read more... ) |
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| Jul. 9th, 2007 @ 12:01 pm Cartoon production companies go Head-to-Head in a one-night-only, no pants adventure of death | |||
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| I may have overplayed the title slightly. ( Read more... ) |
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| Jul. 1st, 2007 @ 01:22 pm PHOTOPANTS. | |||
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| Kat's 21st - PJ O'Briens. You know the deal by now. I take photos at a thing, then put them up on here so everyone there can get them. ( Read more... ) |
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| Jun. 26th, 2007 @ 10:51 am Super Soaker: The water pistol that just won't die. | |||
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| Except pistol isn't really an adequate description anymore. If you've seen the latest ads on TV, you'll know the water pistol has become a water Panzer division, with optional Messerschmitt fly-over cover. This similie is, in fact, completely misleading, because Hasbro are not a German company. But they are getting plainly ridiculous. Most of the new models can hit targets up to 35 feet away. Which I thought was huge until I found out it was 10 metres. However, it still means in an Australian summer, most of the water will have evaporated before it reaches the target. And gone are the days of having a Super Soaker fight with your neighbour, as you can only fill up on odd days and he's stuck with evens. Waterfights may take weeks! Clothes have to be kept in special sealed containers, to preserve the amount of wetness for the next round. If just spraying someone with water to have fun isn't enough, you can now do a whole bunch of pointless, crazy crap with your new Super Soaker. With the Arctic Blast, you can add ice, to "blast 'em with an all-out burst of freezing cold water!". Except, you wouldn't. By the time the ice has cooled the water enough to actually make a difference, your opponent would have drowned you. And buried your damp body. Then he runs off with your girlfriend, because she never liked the ice thing in the first place. Where does that leave you? Single and moist. There's also one which has two options; a high-powered stream that can last for ages, or a massive burst which fires pretty much all your water at once. When I told this to Jickle, he said "...why not just buy a bucket?" and he's right. Unless you aspire to be a pilot of Elvis, the big firefighting helicopter, what possible fun could you get out of a water hurler? That's the equivalent of an allied soldier running into a building, throwing a box of bullets at some guy, and running away again. Or a gymnast running onto the floor and doing the most batshit fucking insane flip you've ever seen, then spending the rest of the 90 seconds getting pissed on by all the other gymnasts. The Super Soaker I had as a kid was insanely shit. If you spent a month pumping the thing, you'd be lucky to knock an ant off his little antly bicycle. But I had fun, because the shitness of the thing prevented anyone from taking it seriously. But now Super Soakers lead to death, divorce and gymnastic urination. Where's the fun in that?! |
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| Mar. 19th, 2007 @ 02:37 pm Coca-Cola | |||
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| So while drinking this afternoon's Coke, one of the forty-eight thousand I'll consume today, I paused for a moment to consider the Coke.</br> Then, later, I found a list of slogans Coke has used throughout its long reign over the world of black, fizzy things. Some of them are worth discussing. But not the ones I've listed. 1886 - Drink Coca-Cola. Well, not everyone gets it right the first time. It's a little blunt, to say the least. Although it isn't filled with flowery crap, so that's an up-side. Right? Right. 1906 - The Great National Temperance Beverage. In its tenth year, Coke decided to spurt fourth five words, four of which were complete bollocks. Temperance - "habitual moderation in the indulgence of a natural appetite or passion, or, total abstinence from alcoholic liquors". ...fuck, maybe it's something to do with Prohibition. *Checks Wikipedia*. Nope, 1920 to 1933. So yeah, this slogan is shit. 1923 - Enjoy thirst. This starts a trend of thirst-based slogans that don't actually work. In this case, you don't enjoy the thirst, you're supposed to enjoy the drink that stops the thirst. ...come on, Coke. Get yourself together! 1938 - The Best Friend Thirst Ever Had.</b> Well, wrong. The Coke stops the thirst from existing. It kills the thirst. Friends don't kill friends. (I realise I'm on LiveJournal and hence talking to a possibly large emo audience, but my point remains.) 1938 - Thirst Asks Nothing More. Yeah it does. "Stop killing me!", mainly. 1948 - Where there's Coke, there's hospitality. This might be a bit dangerous, if someone thinks hospitality means medical care. What if Bill had his leg smashed by an angry mob and his face rammed up his arse by a bunch of trouser-sucking, trouser suckers? Is he supposed to see a corner store with a Coke sign in the window and haul himself in there for urgent medical treatment? No. He can't see. His head is in his arse. 1975 - Look Up, America</b> This slogan went with a short-lived promotion of throwing bottles of Coke out of planes. That was a piss-poor way to end an update. Should have left you with the image of Bill's head in his arse. |
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| Mar. 16th, 2007 @ 02:17 pm Well, essentially, yes. | |||
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| I've been getting urges to start posting on here. I have an update planned, but haven't written any of it and don't have the material next to me that I need. I don't like one of my university subjects. Professional English. Professional Fuck Off. Professional Go Rape Your Mother. Today Tutor person - "We talked about it last week, who remembers what a finite verb is?" Some fuckhead in a pink shirt, who, in the first week, claimed to be a 'grammar Nazi' - "Oh that's when it's short, like he, she, it..." Tutor person - "Almost..." Almost? ALMOST?! Pronouns are not anywhere near finite verbs! Go fffffffuck yourself. My next post will be more entertaining. By which I mean it still won't be entertaining at all. |
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| Mar. 12th, 2007 @ 12:31 pm Steph's Birthday, in the city | |||
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| Happy birthday, Steph! Things get a little bit weird when I went to order my food and Mia and Jo indulged in their favourite hobby of out-of-focus faces. ( Read more... ) |
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| Mar. 12th, 2007 @ 12:28 pm Photobollocks | |||
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| For anyone who's never seen me update, don't get excited, this is merely a way of getting photos I've taken out to my friends. Marion, a while ago ( Read more... ) |
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| Mar. 1st, 2007 @ 07:13 pm NOFX | |||
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| I just wanted to put this up. Lyrics to The Decline. Most amazing song I've ever had the luck to experience live. Over 18 minutes long and ball-blisteringly awesome for all of it. ( Read more... ) |
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| Dec. 12th, 2006 @ 03:43 pm NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. | |||
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| As you may have realised, I don't really update this journal any more. But I don't care. You shouldn't either. |
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| Nov. 18th, 2006 @ 09:59 am HOW? WHY? | |||
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| How and why did my Hotmail account just get expanded to 1000MB? |
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| Nov. 6th, 2006 @ 09:29 am Cholas is defeated. Defeated by science. | |||
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| So some time during early April I placed some CD orders with JB Hi-Fi in the city. This seemed like a fair enough transaction. It went something like this. Cholas - "Hello, I'd like to order some CDs" Ms Hi-Fi - "CDs? Sure? Not a problem? I'll just get someone to help you?" Mr Hi-Fi - "Hi, what CDs did you want to order?" Cholas - "I want four CDs by Less Than Jake. I would like the data version of In With the Out Crowd, I would like Goodbye Blue and White, I would like Live from Uranus and I would like Losers, Kings and Things We Don't Understand." Mr Hi-Fi - "Rightio. Not a problem. I'll just take a $30 deposit from you, then you won't hear from us for another seven months, because, frankly, we don't care much about our customers, we're more concerned with our hair." Cholas - "Fine by me." Last week I gave up. I cancelled the order at JB Hi-Fi, got my deposit back, and replaced the order at Big Star. Mainly because I was pissed off with JB Hi-Fi for taking so fucking long. Yesterday I got a call from JB Hi-Fi. Two of the CDs came in. |
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| Oct. 26th, 2006 @ 11:45 pm SOON | |||
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| There will be an update. Possibly this weekend. I hope you're as excited as I am. |
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| Oct. 12th, 2006 @ 03:28 am This may or may not work as an update | |||
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| Sometimes I like to play games in the internet. Not the usual type of game. Stupid games, like searching for random words and observing the results. Lately I discovered that google.com/images makes this game even easier, because I don't need to read anything. But you have to read things. You're the reader. I write, you read, here we go. Search term: irish Result:  Analysis: What could be more Irish than a green shirt and a stupidly huge, fake beard? Plenty of things. Apparently this man's name is Alex, and according to the image URL, he's rather fierce. Or his name is Alex Fierce. Which I doubt. Although he is in a bar and possibly drunk, so he's Irish in my books. Search term: australian Result:  Analysis: Well, that's a fucking disappointment. A shitty version of the coat of arms, as taken from the Australian Embassy in Rome's website. Although it is worth noting that the second result for Australian was this. Yeah I'm already bored of this update. Bye guys. |
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| Sep. 29th, 2006 @ 08:58 am Go on, do it. | |||
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| I am a very wise and mystical person. Some would say wistical. I wouldn't. Ask me questions and you shall be answered by this bistical wastard. |
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| Sep. 23rd, 2006 @ 08:57 pm 2006 pub crawl | |||
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| ( Read more... ) |
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